Yeah...and I don't believe I said he didn't have that right to certain types of information, did I? And I also said something about the number of complaints that couples have about single men being real game-players...maybe lending some sort of credence to the the fact that people might want to check out a situation before they invest a ton of time. Apparently, and based upon what I have repeatedly read on this board from couples, they are sometimes inundated with e-mails and replies to their ads from single men. As many of you have said, and as I have read myself in many ads...NO SINGLE MEN.
So this couple wants to talk on the phone after 3 e-mails? I can understand that. And really, most people have no hesitation about giving out a cell phone number. I remember a thread on that, and if I'm not mistaken (but might be), most people didn't have a problem with that. Now asking for his number? That might be different. It might have been preferable had they said "here is our number...give us a call." However, I wonder if because they are in Germany and it would necessitate a long distance call for ES if they were not just being cognizant of that fact. I sure as hell wouldn't call Germany on my nickle for a potential play date!
I think you may have missed this point I was trying to make:
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Now the other side...yep and absolutely...you have every right in the world to feel safe and secure and to want to get to know people as much as anyone else does.
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He, like anyone, has that right...but he also has to recognize the risks he is taking in losing this contact by his refusal to talk to these people. Frankly, if, after 3 e-mails (and granting I don't know the content of those e-mails), if I asked someone for their number so I could call them to verify their "realness" and they refused, it would raise some red flags for me. Am I e-mailing with one of the game-players? Is this person taking me for some kind of ride here? Am I really dealing with some kid playing on the computer while Mom and Dad are at work? Am I dealing with someone incarcerated? Lots of questions I would have. Maybe not valid questions, but there nonetheless. And probably, with the numbers of single men available and responding to ads, I wouldn't waste any more of my time.
No, I never said he didn't have the right to any information that he wanted, and in fact, clearly stated he was entitled to it...while recognizing the consequences of maintaining his position. Like we have to do in all life situations.
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That is likely the exception for a single man rather than the rule, and as such, people may not quite no how to respond. But with that attitude, and one that I certainly find preferable, comes the risk of people getting bored with the e-mail stuff. A decision you have to make...is it worth the risk of losing contact or them losing interest?
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ES asked if he was being too defensive, and yes, I think he is...a tad. As stated. And would you think that I, as a single, or even if married 10 times over, would not expect and demand courtesy? Certainly. But I also recognize the fact that I might lose something in my quest for what I define as courtesy. Here and there.
As a Libra, I presented what I felt to be both sides of the issue. Libra...you know...balance in all things. So come on...show me your Libra side....
I know you have one!
- EBF
