Im a 30/m who has been involved in a few gang bangs, and all were done with the utmost respect of the woman. condoms were used and despite the fact that it was 4 or 5 or 6 on one, the woman did have most of the control.
it does happen, but like julie said, its not going to be with a bunch of hung, great looking studs. but good looking guys like myself
~ do enjoy them.
As for the homophobe thing, Im straight but it doesnt bother me at all to rub up or be close to another guy in that kind of setting.