It sounds to me like from the start you have let him push you into situations you weren't comforatable with. If the two of you want to do this it has to be on equal terms, things you are both comfortable with, with boundaries you agree on.
Yes, your fears and jitters are normal in this situation. You have every right to worry when your man is pushing you into something he knows you aren't completely comfortable with. And you shouldn't feel like you need to be comfortable with anymore than you want to do.
After reading your post I just had so many whistles going off in my head and the question "why?" sounded so often.
Why did he set up a meeting with you guys and another couple when you had told him you weren't ready?
Why did you play with them that night when there was no attraction? Who pushed that issue? the other couple or your hubby? Not that it really matters, if you weren't comfortable it shouldn't have happened.
Why do you feel the need to do this FOR HIM?
Why does matter if you are bi? If you aren't into women, there is no reason you should ever feel the need to be (unless it is something you decide to try on your own with no coersion).
Why do you feel the need to pursue being with other couples if it isn't something you want to do?
He told you in the beginning he would honor your wishes in regards to this yet it's obvious he hasn't and has pushed you to a point where you are in a corner and feel that you have no choices but to do what he wants. You need to decide what you want to do and what you feel comfortable with.
I can hear some saying "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" and that if you get to be with guys he should get to be with girls. However, one has to keep in mind this was his fantasy/ suggestion from the start. The two of you need to really talk about this and how you feel about the whole situation. Perhaps if you can't come to terms on where you are ready to go, maybe you should both back off from the whole idea of swinging at least for a while until you are both ready to approach it with limits that both of you can handle.
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