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Originally posted by jcbicouple
We just answered a thread that referred to swing clubs and how male bisexuality is shunned. Curious now, as to what the real reason for this is. Why is it acceptable for females to be bisexual but not males?
We already know that society doesn't accept it, but they don't accept "swinging" either, so that's not the answer we're looking for. If it was just society, then no one would be swinging at all. We know some people don't like the f/f stuff either, so why are people more adamate about the m/m, and accepting of the f/f even though, from reading this board, there are a lot of people that don't want to watch the females do their thing either.
*Putting neck on blade here* Gut feeling is that it's the fear of people at work or "buddies" finding out (suppose this is the same thing as "society"). We do understand that because we have careers that would not allow for this behavior (swinging)...but why is bisexuality scarier than getting caught swinging? At work, last week actually, one of the guys said something about a couple that "swings" and it got real ugly for a few minutes. The men in the room were very appauled.....so why is it different? Swinging, in general, is certainly not socially safer. |
Your original question was why it is acceptable for females to be bisexual in clubs, but not males. I can't address that specifically as I have never been to a club. I suspect, tho', that it is exactly as you stated...
society does not accept male bisexual behavior and therefore, since clubs are "society," they don't, either.
My theory is that female bisexuality is more readily accepted because of the differences in the way boys and girls are conditioned from the moment they can walk and talk. Little girls are actually encouraged to hug, kiss, cry...as we grow a bit older, we spend the night with each other, sleep in the same beds, share clothes...and throughout our lives, we continue to hug hello and hug good-bye. Think about it...most think nothing of it when they might see two women strolling through the mall with their arms linked...talking with each other. they might be mother-daughter, sister-sister, friend-friend. Few of us give it a moments thought other than to smile and think, "They look like they are enjoying each others company!" We share emotional things with each other that we don't, and sometimes can't, share with men. We cry because our friend is sad, we cry because our friend is happy. We cry at movies - happy or sad. Makes no difference. We discuss bra sizes...and fanny sizes. We shop for lingerie together. So many things...in other words, for all of our years, we form close physical and emotional bonds with other females. Later, some of us can participate in certain bisexual behaviors quite easily since it is really a short distance to travel.
Males, on the other hand, are not encouraged as little girls are. Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't hug, and they certainly don't kiss on the cheek! Little boys, when they spend the night, sleep in bunk beds, twin beds, or in sleeping bags on the floor. And they certainly don't walk arm and arm through the mall or shop for underwear together. Heaven forbid! Most men don't talk and discuss on anything more than a superficial basis, and they certainly don't sit around discussing feelings! That is all tied into their macho images...the images they have of themselves and others that began at birth...when Dad came home with the football crib toys. Strong, macho, tough, invinsible. An image that most feel compelled to live up to. And for men, it is a really long stretch to go from that type of image to one of shared sexuality, and in doing so, at best, they are often perceived by others, and themselves, too, as being weak. That is an image that most men want to avoid, and as a result, I believe many deny their own feelings.
Now back to clubs...if a "strong and macho" man goes into a club and witnesses two men involved in sexual behavior, it is an assault to his sense of himself as a man...or at least the sense of himself that he has formulated with great assistance from society. Unable to handle this assault, he walks out. Club owners are in the business to make money, and cater to the desires of the majority. Leading us back to the fact that so many men talk about what a great turn-on it is to watch two women - these same women that don't have to stretch far to display bi behavior. Women are the draw...and the dollars.
Actually, I have a few more thoughts on this, but it is late and I am really, really tired and not too good at thinking just now. But those are tonights thoughts. Make any sense at all?
- EBF
