Everything else aside, why would you even give the time of day to someone that attempted to follow you home after they had tried to find out where you lived and after you had avoided the answer. (Just as I would until I got to know someone rather well). Even if everything else had been picture-perfect with these people up to that point, that single thing would have first scared the crap out of me, then...made me more than mad.
As for your question...you establish your own rules and boundaries and people can either agree or not. Because they have different rules, you are not obligated to change yours unless you and your partner decide you really want to. Obviously, as we get to know people and become comfortable, some boundaries change and if nothing else, it is more acceptable to throw new ideas and suggestions out on the table for negotiation. But not at the time of initial contacts.
Just my thoughts....EBF
