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newgentry · 12-15-2003, 05:47 AM

Well, we had our first experience over the weekend, and although it basically wasn't much more than a heavy necking session, it was, for us, a major major step. One big question for me though as a result of it. Here's what happened - the missus and I had a party at the house for a bunch of our friends. Some of our wilder friends stayed late after the rest had left - 4 couples in all. One thing led to another and we're all buck ass naked in the living room dancing and partying like hell (that part's no big deal - we've known these guys for years and been naked around them all several times). Then one thing led to another and we're all in the hot tub. Again - no big deal, that's happened before too. The BIG deal was when THAT one thing led to the other when, almost before I knew it, a friends wife is on my lap and we're making out like there's no tomorrow. I look over and my wife is doing the same thing on the other side of the tub with her husband. Wow. I mean WOW!!! Talk about visually stimulating. Anyway, nothing much besides that happened, basically because my friends wife started getting nervous after about 10-15 mins and we all agreed to stop. Candidly, I don't think it would have been physically possible to go any farther than that - the other guy and I had about 12 scotches apiece in us, and I was so wasted that I couldn't have gotten it up with a crane *lol*. Remember now that my wife is the same woman that had turned me down cold on several occasions when I even broached the topic of SRS with anyone, and all of sudden we're doing this? That was an incredible thing to happen. Anyway, the next morning after we sobered up we discussed it and actually had a GREAT conversation. We both agreed that we had enjoyed it, and rationally discussed rules and boundaries for any future encounters. That's one thing that we really fell short on - again we just kind of fell into this thing with no advance "arrangements" or discussion - nothing on safe sex, nothing on full swap vs. soft, absolutely nothing. That omission could have turned everything way south real fast but we dodged the bullet. I realized though, that you need to take people seriously when they say to talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. All in all, though, it was a phenomenally enjoyable experience, and I really think that we'll have some more great times in the future. OK now, after all this rambling (and sorry for that) - here's my question. All day long the next day I was semi-freaking over what happened - not in a bad way, just really amazed I guess. I was also extremely emotionally "needy" towards my wife - I kept hugging and kissing her all day, telling her how much I loved her. She kept laughing and reciprocating, for sure, but I know she was wondering what the hell had gotten into me. I think it stemmed half from appreciation for the night before, and half I think from what was a sense of insecurity on my part. While I certainly enjoyed seeing her with someone else, it was almost like now I know that she CAN be with another guy, so that opened up a Pandora's box of emotions - will she like these other guys in bed better than me? Will she start seeing them on the side? God forbid would something develop that she'd leave me over? Have we started something here that we're going to regret later? Ergo, a big reason for me being so touchy feely all day. Is this a normal reaction to have after your first time? Anyone else go through this and if so how did you deal with it? Don't get me wrong - I'm not obsessing over anything and I already feel better this morning - I guess I just want to know if what I'm feeling is something that should be expected. Again, folks, many apologies for the length of this message. Thanks a lot for letting me vent.

12-15-2003, 05:47 AM	#1 (permalink)
newgentry Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 60 Location: Kansas Status: Couple	Normal to freak after the first time? Well, we had our first experience over the weekend, and although it basically wasn't much more than a heavy necking session, it was, for us, a major major step. One big question for me though as a result of it. Here's what happened - the missus and I had a party at the house for a bunch of our friends. Some of our wilder friends stayed late after the rest had left - 4 couples in all. One thing led to another and we're all buck ass naked in the living room dancing and partying like hell (that part's no big deal - we've known these guys for years and been naked around them all several times). Then one thing led to another and we're all in the hot tub. Again - no big deal, that's happened before too. The BIG deal was when THAT one thing led to the other when, almost before I knew it, a friends wife is on my lap and we're making out like there's no tomorrow. I look over and my wife is doing the same thing on the other side of the tub with her husband. Wow. I mean WOW!!! Talk about visually stimulating. Anyway, nothing much besides that happened, basically because my friends wife started getting nervous after about 10-15 mins and we all agreed to stop. Candidly, I don't think it would have been physically possible to go any farther than that - the other guy and I had about 12 scotches apiece in us, and I was so wasted that I couldn't have gotten it up with a crane lol. Remember now that my wife is the same woman that had turned me down cold on several occasions when I even broached the topic of SRS with anyone, and all of sudden we're doing this? That was an incredible thing to happen. Anyway, the next morning after we sobered up we discussed it and actually had a GREAT conversation. We both agreed that we had enjoyed it, and rationally discussed rules and boundaries for any future encounters. That's one thing that we really fell short on - again we just kind of fell into this thing with no advance "arrangements" or discussion - nothing on safe sex, nothing on full swap vs. soft, absolutely nothing. That omission could have turned everything way south real fast but we dodged the bullet. I realized though, that you need to take people seriously when they say to talk, talk, talk, and then talk some more. All in all, though, it was a phenomenally enjoyable experience, and I really think that we'll have some more great times in the future. OK now, after all this rambling (and sorry for that) - here's my question. All day long the next day I was semi-freaking over what happened - not in a bad way, just really amazed I guess. I was also extremely emotionally "needy" towards my wife - I kept hugging and kissing her all day, telling her how much I loved her. She kept laughing and reciprocating, for sure, but I know she was wondering what the hell had gotten into me. I think it stemmed half from appreciation for the night before, and half I think from what was a sense of insecurity on my part. While I certainly enjoyed seeing her with someone else, it was almost like now I know that she CAN be with another guy, so that opened up a Pandora's box of emotions - will she like these other guys in bed better than me? Will she start seeing them on the side? God forbid would something develop that she'd leave me over? Have we started something here that we're going to regret later? Ergo, a big reason for me being so touchy feely all day. Is this a normal reaction to have after your first time? Anyone else go through this and if so how did you deal with it? Don't get me wrong - I'm not obsessing over anything and I already feel better this morning - I guess I just want to know if what I'm feeling is something that should be expected. Again, folks, many apologies for the length of this message. Thanks a lot for letting me vent.