Declining to play with a couple who is poly or in an open marriage
Ok folks … need to ask a question about a couple that we met and almost had relations.
Here is the story.
We meet off a board (not this one but a local one) and have chatted a bit via the online system using emails. We exchanged pictures, emails, and then IM’s. So we met the other night for dinner and then drinks. Everything appeared to be a close match. We were close in age, family, backgrounds, lifestyles, and marriage. In the process of talking we even discussed sexual interests and comfort levels. Everything looked good.
While we were just in general talking about things, something came up that just shot the whole thing down. During the talking, the man stated that he needed to go because his GF was about to come online. And when I asked about GF’? … we found out that he has 2 separate lovers outside their marriage without his wife and she has the same type of arrangement. This is in addition to meeting couples. In fact, they maintain a couple BF/GF lovers that change from time to time per each.
Both Dusty and I both said … Whoa … wait a minute. The reason why we were even talking to this couple was because they had stated that they were looking for friends first that could become something else. Good that we found out before things ever went anywhere but this couple was very upset with us when we told them that this was a major issue for us.
So the question is this. Are we being naïve or two-faced in wanting to meet another married couple for both friendship and sex? Are we expecting too much for another couple that is having swinging type lifestyles? This Inside/Outside marriage issue just sent huge warning bells off for us.
Both of us want to enjoy things but not at expense of our marriage. A major line for us is keeping things together between us. The whole idea of having multiple partners outside of marriage is just too far for us … much less being with a couple that has multiple Girl Friends/Boy Friends … and couple partners.
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