Something I personally see missing here is:
Swinging is NOT for everyone. No matter how good the relationship may be.
There is nothing wrong with being "normal" in this world either. I know many very "normal" people that are not part of the lifestyle that we so much enjoy and they lead very happy lives.
Being able to communicate without anger is the number one step in any relationship and even more important if you are going to share yourself with other people.
You have been together 8 years, you two must love each other and have some joint interests if you are happy enough to be together that long. Sometimes changing is not in the cards and you seem to already understand that.
Just my 2 cents.
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