Quote:
Originally posted by shoreguy
Wow. I guess I'm kind of amazed at how quickly the response is "dump him". We're talking about a 3.5 year relationship here. Some indecision about swinging and one insensitive comment is enough to end a relationship? He did say he was willing to drop the swinging idea altogether if they couldn't agree.
3.5 years is enough to get your shit together, in general. Perhaps not all your shit. Admittedly, they were swingers when they met, but single swingers. Neither of them had to deal with the jealousy that sharing your partner entails. If they haven't been swinging as a real, committed couple long that can bring things up that hadn't occurred earlier in the relationship. My point is that, say a couple has been married for 20 years and having issues over swinging for a few months. You wouldn't say "20 years is enough to get your shit together". I didn't see anything in the original post that tells me how long they've been discussing swinging with other people. I got the impression it wasn't the whole time.
Insensitive, derogatory, mean. Call it what you want. I don't live in a fantasy world where everything my wife and I say to each other is always well thought out and supportive. I'm not sure I'd want to. As far as we know this is a one time thing. There's no indication that he says things to her like that on an ongoing basis.
I've seen plenty of relationships that survived far worse than a mean comment and confusion about swinging. I'd hope most could survive it. Even his level of indecision.
I hope I'm not the only one who feels for curious brenda, but at the same time thinks that time and communication are what's needed and not ending the relationship. |
I do feel ALOT of communtication is needed, but if his attitude doesn't change within the next 5 minutes then she should dump him. It isn't because of the remark about the beauty. It is all his remarks............
This paragraph right here as a whole (IMHO) shows that is he an asshole.....
"He also told me that he doesn't need me to get what he want and that he can find lots of women who will cater to him without needing to bring in another male. And to top that off he said too that I am only average and not dropdead gorgous and that any ugly whore can pick up men for fun, but it takes a 'special' man to be able to attract to females."
We have been marrried 13yrs, and have both said some hurtful things to each other........ not that we are proud of that.......... but if he EVER got that attitude with me, over anything......... mostly swinging......... then something would have to change, weither it be his attitude, or his address. To say something about her looks isn't as bad as telling her that he doesn't need her, and that she is blessed to be with him............. that he is doing her a favor by being with her. I know it is just MO, but that is how i feel it should be.
I mean i feel that any man........... or women that is willing to get that attitude towards their partner does not respect them, nor care about their feelings.......... and no one should have to live with a person that doesn't respect or care about them.
Ok, i will get off my soapbox . I hope this didn't upset anyone, but i felt i had to put my .02 in.
Robin