I completely understand what you are going through. It happened to me the first 3-4 times we played. It still happens with new couples from time to time. And the most frustrating this is that it works great with my wife every time. It's just got stage fright.
I've found that it's been so long since I've really been with other women in a dating/sexual situation I've forgotten how to react. What we do is try to put me in that state of mind again. Usually this involves the other woman and me talking, flirting and generally slowing things down together. The main thing is that I have to get to know her more and become attracted to her on my own. Not as part of the group thing. If I spend all my time watching the others with her looking at me it just gets worse.
The easiest way to get over it for me is to regain control of the situation. Many men get turned on by the chase. I know I do. By simply playing a sexual card game or other sexual game that let's me have some control gets me very aroused when stage fright occurs. Usually nobody minds "losing" these games anyway. Sometimes any type of control helps. Just telling my partner what to do to the other man is a turn on. And, that's usually the end of it.
The best part is of course, once you've found out that you can get over the stage fright it's all downhill. Especially if you continue to play with the same couple. I liken it to playing Euchre. It's almost impossible to explain how to do it. It seems very daunting to those that don't know how. But once you've done it a couple of times it can be very easy and fun!
Good luck. Oh, and if none of this works just try the little blue pill. I've heard that it works wonders too!
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