I agree with Chicup and disagree with shoreguy. Three and a half years is more than enough time to get your 'shit' together in a relationship. In no way does it excuse his comments to you which are more than just insensitive. (IMO)
Think about this for a moment. Had he made these sort of routine comments to you when you first started seeing each other as a couple, would you have continued to see him? I know I sure as hell wouldn't have. And I most certainly would not be around anyone that chose to try and run my life and/or make deragatory comments, regardless of the years together.
It sounds to me like a control issue, and trust me...this will only get worse down the road. In the end it is your decision as to how happy you want to be, but my advice... Dump the sorry ass and go out and find someone who really loves you, for you, just the way you are and knows how to show it.
Mrs. O
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