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My point was that all you ever see frome the media etc are the people that you wouldn't want to even be in the same room with. We are not looking for perfect people, just at least average. This brings up some more questions...
Why are most "older" over 40?
Why are there so many strange people into it?
When people say they are disease free, how do you trust them?
When doing oral do most people use protection?
To me oral using a condom etc would ruin it. I know about the STD thing.
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If you are referring to what you've seen in the media of swingers, then you aren't getting the 'big picture'. I've watched the 'documentaries' , When Two Won't Do for eg. and Real Sex most recently. (Does anyone else notice Nina Harltley's speech impediment??) Real Sex seems to go for the fringe and underground stuff. I personally found a definite undercurrent of BDSM - everything from strap ons to floggings and leather/pvc fetish wear - in swinger venues. One of our Swinger Clubs tried running a Fetish Night for a while. And another one had a Dungeon BDSM night a few times. It's nothing hardcore though.....just more titillation.
The people we've met at house parties, clubs, nudist resorts and online are just as EBF said - diverse. Every venue will have this diversity. At any given club or house party at any given time, there will be a few 20 somethings, mostly 30 & 40 somethings, a few in their 50's, and the occasional elderly person. yes I'm serious
They will be anywhere from reed thin, to average height and weight, to gym bunnies, to BBW. There will be blue collar, white collar, professors, stay at home moms, people on disability.
Some can carry on a decent conversation, some are friendly and outgoing, some are shy, some are there just for the sex.
It's all about getting in there and seeing what it's all about in your neck of the woods, and deciding which clubs and venues and their members/guests you feel most comfortable with. And always respecting everyone's choice to do the same. Because really, it's a small world, and you may see those people again
Oh, and... always safe sex, however you define that for yourselves, and always ask the others what their preferences are... - I don't care if they claim to have lived on a deserted island with only each other for the past 20 years, we're at least using a condom