Swingers Board is a great site for those that both wish to express views or seek a deeper understanding of the lifestyle among other things. I have posted a few things that I wish I could go delete LOL. Everyone I am sure has been insensitive to some issues, including US
For me (John), the kissing issue raised concerns that I was a bit confused by. The paradox being of course; how can I so relish the sexual aspect of swinging and feel at all threatened by JUST kissing.
I knew as Alura says that it would be a difficult problem to approach by just finding people that would go along with the no kissing rule but I tried it anyhow.
It took exactly one minute into our first swinging encounter for Tammy to blow the rule to bits lmao. I decided it was the "heat of the moment" and said nothing until the next day.
Tam said something to the effect of "oh its no big deal kissing just adds to the intensity". Well ok I figured and haven't given it a thought since. Now, I actually couldn't imagine swinging without kissing. After that episode I broke a rule once and we have grown from these experiences. We now know that we must both stick to our rules anyhow and we have a higher level of communication as a result.
The kissing threat (KT) in my mind is a small hurdle that some people have to just jump over. On the surface (and in retrospect), it does indeed seem ludicrous that it would even be an issue.
I suppose it would take some sort of psychologist to thoroughly explain the contradictory emotions involved but an issue is very real if it exists in YOUR mind.
It just took a bit of pondering for me to come to the realization that kissing can just be a form of foreplay strictly involving sex as opposed to an expression of intimate feelings. Of course it also adds to the intensity and for many people sex without kissing would have a negative effect on the total enjoyment that we are in fact seeking. John