J & BinNJ, newbies or not, noone should ever be pushy toward another couple or person. Everyones bounderies, rules, and feelings are to be taken into consideration. RESPECT, for whom you are meeting is essential. It should always be understood that nothing will progress any further than any person is comfortable with going. A simple word, and everything comes to an end with no pressure to continue, no hard feelings, and the worst that could happen if nothing happens at all is you have possibly made new friends and enjoyed a night out. Who knows, maybe you will try again in the future when you ARE ready. Don't let this one experience deter you from experienced swingers. Most of them, that I have met, know these rules and abide by them. But I have run in to a few myself, who could use a little etiquet lessons dealing with others.
Case in point, I don't like being man handled. At a recent party, I felt like a ball being tossed around. I almost lost my cool. I (almost) calmly stood up, told them to wait one minute, let my feelings be known, and took a long break from the action. Calmed myself down. I received an apology from everyone there, and had no further problems. This was our first party with this particular group. Sometimes you have to be the one to give the ettiquet lesson. But, not when you are a newbie!! People know you are new, and you are nervous, and anxious. Atleast they should! Talk until you find the right couple who you feel understands these things. You will feel it, then just meet, and talk some more. See if you want to go any further, then plan an encounter. Or plan another meeting to get to know each other better. Responsible swingers are patient, and want to know you as well.
mrs. hmr
