Quote:
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We have nada when everything is up for individual interpretation and there is no benchmark.
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Well, at risk of offending a few singles, it is my opinion that singles are not "swingers" but may become participants in the interpersonal relationship that is swinging.
Maybe, couples are not swingers either -- anymore than players of the game of football can be rightly called
footballers
Maybe, swinging is an activity whose participants are properly called by their position. Not unlike my descriptor as "F half of bi-couple" -- which then makes me not a "swinger" but simply a participant in "swinging"
That said, a person that used to play music but has stopped is not a musician -- he used to be a musician but now is not. Maybe a person who used to be a participant in swinging but is not now ("inactive swinger") is not "a swinger" but is a "former swinger"
It remains clear though that singles can and do participate in the activity known as swinging. I know this to be true because we most often play MFM or FMF and not couple+couple. That these singles participate in the lifestyle with us makes them "swingers" doesn't it? Or do they remain "singles" who got laid? Does it really matter?
When all is said and done -- this is nothing more than a label we apply to ourselves. Then we must at some point define what the label means if we are going to effectively communicate with others.
As for the rules that are posted -- I've found that most participants do generally follow the ones they understand. "Don't cum in my hair!" isn't that hard to understand -- the penalty for breaking that rule is a suspension from the tournament. We might even have a "delay of game" while I wash my hair.
There are some rules that get ignored from time-to-time. Sometimes we agree to suspend the rules (condoms) and sometimes we end up with an unintentional infraction (getting too attached).
Some rules are very well adhered to in most circles -- ladies don't intentionally (like "forgetting" her BC) get pregnant and the guys don't intentionally (like moving the diaphragm) try to impregnate us. In most cases, the absence of "I love you" between playmates is an unspoken rule.
Some rules only apply to certain playing fields. At our field, there is a no drugs rule. We do allow drinking though (as long as you bring your own). We also have friends that don't have the no drugs prohibition at their playing field and some that don't permit drinking at all.
None of these really effects the nature of the game -- those rules which are broken generally result in some sort of sanction (unless the penalty is waived) and teams with a history or reputation of rule breaking generally don't get invited to compete again.
So, what we have here is two discussions:
1) what exactly is
swinging?
2) what exactly are the codified rules?
reality is, thay are both really hard to answer....