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You could have a rule to agree to someone else's rules just to get laid and you can still say you are a swinger.
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This type of rule wouldn't mean they are not swingers, it just may be they are not the type of swingers you want to play with. While I don't think I would choose to swing with someone with this philosophy, the more important question would be whether they followed the other peoples rules once agreed upon.
While most rules tend to vary with the people involved I think one rule that could be (or should be) considered universal is to "Respect other peoples rules".
Jesse