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Pinky_n_The_Bean · 10-25-2002, 12:52 AM

Hi everyone:

I had a situation that happened this past weekend that really led me to lose confidence in myself. We have been swinging for just the last 2 months, and have been with a few couples, mostly good experiences, but not quite what we were really looking for. A few weeks ago we met a couple (just meet & greet) and we hit it off and became very good friends. Until last Saturday we had not played (except for a little above-the waist stuff once), mostly due to their children situation (who we adore, btw). But this wasn't a bad thing, as we enjoyed their company in so many other ways. We felt like this was the situation my wife and i wanted...close friends where sex was a plus, not just "encounters". Anyway, after attending a small club function we finally had a chance to play at our place (no kids). I was hoping this would be a special time, and maybe i set my expectations way too high, but basically to make a long story short, I had the hardest time getting it up...something that had never happened before. I was devestated, to say the least, and the more i tried the worse it got. There were alot of factors that contributed i'm sure...very late hours, nervousness, my wife picked out condoms that were too small, I was starting a cold (I discovered soon), the other woman (I found out afterward) takes longer than usual to get off with oral sex (and that got me freaky), etc etc. The other couple was very gracious about it...the other guy said "hey, it could easily happen to me next time, don't sweat it", and the woman was sweet and patient, but was puzzled why i wasn't relaxed with them (since i'm always relaxed around them otherwise)...but i still feel like dog dookie. Anyway, I'm having a hard time getting past it. I'm not sure when (or if???) we'll play again, and I certainly don't want to get nervous all over again.

So...is this an experience similar to what anyone here has had? What do you do to stop worrying and start relaxing? The last thing i want to do is have this become an issue in our friendship.

10-25-2002, 12:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pinky_n_The_Bean Active Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 12 Location: Anywhere but here!	Lost it at the worst time Hi everyone: I had a situation that happened this past weekend that really led me to lose confidence in myself. We have been swinging for just the last 2 months, and have been with a few couples, mostly good experiences, but not quite what we were really looking for. A few weeks ago we met a couple (just meet & greet) and we hit it off and became very good friends. Until last Saturday we had not played (except for a little above-the waist stuff once), mostly due to their children situation (who we adore, btw). But this wasn't a bad thing, as we enjoyed their company in so many other ways. We felt like this was the situation my wife and i wanted...close friends where sex was a plus, not just "encounters". Anyway, after attending a small club function we finally had a chance to play at our place (no kids). I was hoping this would be a special time, and maybe i set my expectations way too high, but basically to make a long story short, I had the hardest time getting it up...something that had never happened before. I was devestated, to say the least, and the more i tried the worse it got. There were alot of factors that contributed i'm sure...very late hours, nervousness, my wife picked out condoms that were too small, I was starting a cold (I discovered soon), the other woman (I found out afterward) takes longer than usual to get off with oral sex (and that got me freaky), etc etc. The other couple was very gracious about it...the other guy said "hey, it could easily happen to me next time, don't sweat it", and the woman was sweet and patient, but was puzzled why i wasn't relaxed with them (since i'm always relaxed around them otherwise)...but i still feel like dog dookie. Anyway, I'm having a hard time getting past it. I'm not sure when (or if???) we'll play again, and I certainly don't want to get nervous all over again. So...is this an experience similar to what anyone here has had? What do you do to stop worrying and start relaxing? The last thing i want to do is have this become an issue in our friendship.
	__________________ You call me sweet, like I'm some kind of cheese. - Queen