We sympathize with your situation. Fortunately, because you are not completely down on the lifestyle, there is room for a compromise between you and your husband. We would like to make a couple of suggestions based on the fact that we are also a couple that swings almost every weekend, but that does not interfere with the intimacy of our relationship.
We concur with curious24’s suggestion that you establish a weekly “date night.” Although we’ve never called it by that name, our date night is Friday. We restrict our swinging activities to Saturdays, leaving Fridays available for non-swinging activities. One Friday this summer, we decided to go dancing at a nearby 70’s/80’s nightclub and had such a good time we stayed until closing and have gone back several times since then. Even if we don’t go dancing or to dinner or a movie on a given Friday, it can be nice just to relax together at home and recover from the busy work week.
Our other suggestion is that you spend more time together pursuing any common interests you might have. For us, our biggest common interest is attending live sporting events. We live in the Denver area, which features several professional sports franchises and two NCAA Division I programs. We hold season tickets for one team, and we see the other teams as often as we can afford it. NFL tickets are hard to come by, so most Sundays during football season we go to our favorite sports bar to catch as many games as we can watch.
Hopefully, you and your husband share an interest (or two) that both of you are passionate about. We both enjoy the lifestyle and have no plans to give it up, but if we hadn’t shared anything else in common we wouldn’t have fallen in love and gotten married. Urge your husband to join you in doing some of things you liked to do together long before the lifestyle started to dominate your relationship. Let him know that you don’t want to completely give up the lifestyle, but give him the opportunity to rediscover how much fun it can be to be with only you.
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