Quote:
Originally posted by 2dreamyangels
Okay, so we have seen some couples more than once. In fact a few of them, I do consider friends. And yes, he is always with the wife of the man I am with. We haven't done any threesomes. And, yes, I need to stand my ground more often than I do. He does know how I feel. He knows that I don't like doing this every weekend. I think he has problems with his mother. She did not give him the attention that he needed and now he thrives on getting it from other women. And to be truthful, who doesn't like the attention of the opposite sex. But it can be overwhelming in this lifestyle. Is it truly just about sex with strangers? And what in the heck is wrong with me, that I have let this pace continue for so long? I'm not totally against it, I like the anticipation of meeting new couples sometimes, but unlike my husband, I am not in it for sex. And to be honest, out of the 100 or so couples we have slept with, there is only a handful that I truly like. Not that I dislike them.... But, in searching my heart, and being honest, I find only a handful that I would call and say.... hey... want to go shopping with me? Is it just me? Or is there really more to this lifestyle than just sex? Ohhhh... I'm exhausted. Thank you for all your kind words. I feel better having somewhere to go and write my t houghts. |
Angel darlin', first off let me say I'm really sorry that you are going through all this pain (and that's the best word I can think of to describe it). This is not what swinging is supposed to be about. Actually, you have a much better handle on swinging is about than your husband does. It's first and foremost a social activity, not just racking up notches on the bedpost, which is what your husband is doing. And for damn sure it's not about sex with strangers. One hundred couples?!?! Talk about overkill.
Bunny and I are like fun_pairTX in that we had from the start, and still have, a standing agreement that either of us can call this off at any time, and for any reason. If either of us are not happy, then it stops, period. This is because while swinging is a fun "hobby" for us, it's not the end all and be all of our lives. Bunny and I are number one with each other; all the rest of this swinging crap is irrelevant by comparison. You two need to do the same, before your marriage crashes and burns.
Aside from your unhappiness with the current state of affairs, if your lovemaking with your hubby has dropped from several times a week to once a month (and it's not even making love from what you say, but just fucking; there is a major difference), and you no longer feel connected to him (my impression based on your posts), then the swinging needs to stop, and the two of you need to work on your marriage. Get counseling or whatever it takes, but for damn sure his priorities are totally screwed at this point, and direct action to correct this needs to be taken, and soon.
And what is this "he subtly reminds me that he may not be able to stay faithful" crock? That's the biggest load of bullshit I've heard all week! Don't EVEN let him get away with that crap, not for one damn minute. That right there is sufficient reason to stop the swinging completely until he gets his head out of his ass, and starts taking care of business, specifically YOU and your marriage.
I can see from your posts that you love him dearly, and from the sounds of it, I don't think the silly sonofabitch knows what he's got under the same roof with him. It's called the "can't see the forest for the trees" syndrome, and I'll bet he's got it bad. And I don't give a damn how many times he says you are "his only love"; he sure isn't acting like it, and you certainly deserve better from him.
I don't care if he has issues with his mother, father or the barber down the street. He needs to get his personal problems resolved (preferably with professional help), and he's not going to do it banging every strange pussy between here and Boise, Idaho.
You two need to stop the swinging now, and address the issues with your marriage, and before it's too late. I do wish you well, hon...
-- Bear