 Talk Talk Talk
Explain to him in plain terms that the ancillary sex has already spilled over onto your personal love. When Mrs Fun and I started in the lifestyle we made a pact that either one of us could blow the whistle and stop swinging forever with no questions asked.
It may be that your husband has a separate sexual issue that doesn't necessarily involve swinging. He may not be addicted to the lifestyle as much as to sex itself. This is going to take some serious work between you two to get it all ironed out, you may want to bring a counselor in at some point as well. Best of luck, our prayers are with you.
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