I'm sorry to hear that swinging is being used in this way on you. We know of one couple that the woman claims she is 'addicted' to swinging. There's is not a solid relationship. Many break ups and cheating (yes even in swinging that happens). Our suspicion is that he wants it more than her, and she is claiming to be something more than she is. Like I said, they break up often and have many, many times cheated...with other single 'swingers'. It just gets nasty and ugly and they waltz back in like nothing happened and don't want to discuss it. But the community knows they have serious troubles and it just makes everyone uncomfortable.
Real swingers won't participate if they feel the couple have troubles or the woman, or the man, is going along for the sake of the relationship. That's not what swinging is about ulimtately altho there are many couples out there who are troubled and looking for this as a 'fix'. I'm not suggesting this is your situation. We all know how thrilled a guy would be to find his wife is into swinging
If my husband and I never swung again, we'd still be deliriously happy with just each other. That's our bottom line.
I can only offer that you tell him and talk to him and he has to respect you totally and be there just for you. We wish you the best!