You've posed some really interesting questions and I am looking forward to seeing the various responses. Sometimes, when you read a post, you just see it coming...one that will hang around for a really long time and will frequently be brought up time and again! I think this is one of those.
Coming from a single woman...
Are you adicted to the lifestyle?
I would have to say I am addicted to the idea of the lifestyle rather than they lifestyle itself. This thought addiction stems, in part, from my personal feelings of wanting to be able to openly discuss sexualilty and experiences with others rather than be bound by the normal restrictions society imposes on us. Here, on this board, I've seen and read more things than I even knew existed just a year or two ago. I don't agree with all...I certainly have no interest in all, but I have enjoyed the learning experiences and for the most part, have come to understand that there are more commonalities among us than differences. Another part of that thought addiction is having had the opportunity to make friends - men and women - with similar interest. It doesn't leave one wondering if they are "alone" with their thoughts and interest.
Do you feel we as a community are sex adicts being in the lifestyle?
Some probably could be defined as true sex addicts, but the vast majority, I would say are not. Just like others outside of the lifestyle, there is a mixture of people. I think the only real difference is the way those with an interest in the lifestyle perceive sexual freedom and sexual play. Most lifestylers can separate the sex of love and romance from the sex of playfulness. Even in stictly monogamous relationships, there are times of passion stemming from love and other times the passion stems from pure lust and playfulness. That combination makes for wonderful sexual experiences. In the lifestyle, maybe we take it just a step or two further by experiencing the latter with our spouses and others. From what I've seen and read, most in the lifestyle are not any more sexually active than those outside the lifestyle. Maybe here...we just talk about it more. I think that is what would give it the appearance of an addiction.
Could you quit it totally never go back to it ever?
Absolutely. The lifestyle is only one small aspect of me and my life. However, this goes back to your first question. Could I quit thinking about it...never think about it again? No. In part because I have friends that are lifestylers and the topic would always be part of our friendship. Could I quit having an interest in it? No. Again...a however in terms of totally quitting...if I abandoned the lifestyle completely, then maybe 5-10 years from now, met someone (a couple in my case), could I easily slip back into the lifestyle. You betcha! Without a blink of the eyes. I think that is because I have been a lifestyler...it is now just the way I look at things.
Have you ever gone 1 day without thinking about swinging?
Yes. In fact, I've gone weeks without thinking about (tho' not since joining this board!
). Pre-board days? Certainly. It would drift in and out of my thoughts like many pleasurable things do. I love chocolate...chocolate anything. But do I think about chocolate everyday? No. Just when I have chocolate cravings!
Good questions...and I reserve the right to change some comments after reading others.
Thanks! - EBF
