Hello again, Di.
I will admit that your other post...calling the lifestyle crap and inferring that those of us that enjoy swinging and open sexualitiy are not "living a normal life" kind of set me off in a defensive mode. After all, this is a swingers board and most of us here enjoy our choice of lifestyle. If you go back and read through the various posts, I think it will be readily apparent that we do not try to hoist our lifestyle choices upon others and most of us are real quick to say that if the choice is not that of both partners, then don't go there.
Now for you...and your issues...everyone thus far has said something to the effect that the relationship between the couple - their relationship - is of primary importance. Swinging, involving couples and/or singles, should be a mutually agreed upon activity. It should be mutually pleasurable.
Quite frankly, I would never stay in any relationship with any person that tried to
FORCE or coerce me into doing anything, up to and including the sharing of my sexuality. That is something that I really can't comprehend happening to me. Therefore, I guess I can't comprehend how others would allow it to happen to them. Right, wrong, or indifferent...I can't equate this type of attitude with love. All relationships are built on mutual respect, compromise, finding value in the others opinions and feelings, finding value in the ability to disagree but maintain respect for each other, sometimes putting aside ones own feelings and values out of respect for the other person. All relationships...including love relationships.
Where is that in the scenarios you present? Where is the respect for your feelings? Others have said you may want to exit the relationship...get counseling...I have to agree. It sounds like the issues of swinging are symptoms of bigger issues in the relationship.
I sincerely wish you the best and hope you can resolve this.
- EBF
