Thanks for the input, we have been to a marriage counselor. Things in the past year are night and day better than it was before. However not up to speed before our children came along. And you are definately right about the pressure issue that is made her pull away, I don't know how to fix that other than to ask for sex from her.
You are right about the security issue. She is secure with me, and I am not as much, due to us being on the bottom floor in our sex life. I wouldn't have any problems if she was willing to go as far as she did with her friends, but with me. I didn't feel left out when we all were doing stuff together, just when I approached my wife and was pushed away.
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