The Swingers Board - View Single Post - She wants a theesome without me but no foursome with me.

10-10-2003, 02:39 PM

Hello all,

My wife and I just started swinging. A little history on us, we have been together for quite a few years, about 6 years ago we had a daughter and she had some horrible recovery from episiotomy surgeries, after 3 years the doctor gave the ok to have a normal sex life again, so for that 3 years we grew apart. Anyhow, we have sex but once per month and are getting a lot closer. I have been pestering her to try to get us back to the way we were - but there is friction from her.

About 6 months ago one of her casual friends said they were swingers and my wife asked if I was interested. I figured this would turbocharge us getting back on track sexually, a little scared I said yes and a couple months ago we did full swap same room sex.

That went great she did him and her but when I tried to do something with my wife, she pushed me away. My real focus for the swing was on my wife - and that hurt, bad. She explained that she felt funny seeing me with another woman. I am not so sure of her answer, might be true and might be a bit of her having her chance to have wild sex and in that picture in her brain I am not involved/invited. I did communicate my feelings to her.

Currently we have sex a little more (like once or twice a week) and she actually got fully naked with me, however I was under the instruction to do baby steps, no groping, going down etc. She says that she will slowly start letting her guard down with me as she gets more comfortable. She is still wanting to do the swing thing bigtime, and she wanted to talk to me today about some ground rules, what would be ok, what not. What if they were over and I was out of town, or just out with her girlfriend etc. I stated that she could do whatever she wants with the girl, and nothing with the guy unless I am there. She asked if I was threatened by him, I said no- threatened by you. Since our sex relationship is still on the bottom floor and a healing stage, while the swinger thing she is open to everything. I also said that if our sex life gets to be on the same page as with our friends, then I will be confident and let her do whatever she wants. I was told that what I said was manipulative. She wants an open relationship. I want to be sure that I am not odd man out, or left for dead when she wants to go have sex. Big post, give me some feedback! There is more detail to the story, but what I wrote pretty much covers the bases.

10-10-2003, 02:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
WantItOnIt Guest Posts: n/a	She wants a theesome without me but no foursome with me. Hello all, My wife and I just started swinging. A little history on us, we have been together for quite a few years, about 6 years ago we had a daughter and she had some horrible recovery from episiotomy surgeries, after 3 years the doctor gave the ok to have a normal sex life again, so for that 3 years we grew apart. Anyhow, we have sex but once per month and are getting a lot closer. I have been pestering her to try to get us back to the way we were - but there is friction from her. About 6 months ago one of her casual friends said they were swingers and my wife asked if I was interested. I figured this would turbocharge us getting back on track sexually, a little scared I said yes and a couple months ago we did full swap same room sex. That went great she did him and her but when I tried to do something with my wife, she pushed me away. My real focus for the swing was on my wife - and that hurt, bad. She explained that she felt funny seeing me with another woman. I am not so sure of her answer, might be true and might be a bit of her having her chance to have wild sex and in that picture in her brain I am not involved/invited. I did communicate my feelings to her. Currently we have sex a little more (like once or twice a week) and she actually got fully naked with me, however I was under the instruction to do baby steps, no groping, going down etc. She says that she will slowly start letting her guard down with me as she gets more comfortable. She is still wanting to do the swing thing bigtime, and she wanted to talk to me today about some ground rules, what would be ok, what not. What if they were over and I was out of town, or just out with her girlfriend etc. I stated that she could do whatever she wants with the girl, and nothing with the guy unless I am there. She asked if I was threatened by him, I said no- threatened by you. Since our sex relationship is still on the bottom floor and a healing stage, while the swinger thing she is open to everything. I also said that if our sex life gets to be on the same page as with our friends, then I will be confident and let her do whatever she wants. I was told that what I said was manipulative. She wants an open relationship. I want to be sure that I am not odd man out, or left for dead when she wants to go have sex. Big post, give me some feedback! There is more detail to the story, but what I wrote pretty much covers the bases.
WantItOnIt Guest Posts: n/a