EBF darlin', if I was not already married, I'd be bird-dogging you to beat the band. I just love the way you think (and yes, a photograph is 2-dimensional)...
You do have a way of cutting through the Bravo Sierra.
Tarnished darlin', EBF is quite correct in that you should look long and hard at whether or not you even belong in swinging in the first place. In another post I recently discussed the sort of "hard-wired" territoriality and selectivity women have regarding who they mate with, and how women who swing are able to override that "programming". You may not have reached that point yet.
As you have probably figured out by now, physical attraction or "chemistry" is a very subjective thing, and means different things to different people.
Those who are more physically attractive, in society's generally accepted sense of the word, tend to be more drawn to the physical appearance aspect. Those of us who are less physically attractive, again in society's generally accepted sense of the word are, perforce, rather more open in their options in terms of what we would consider "attractive".
At first blush, you might meet someone who doesn't really fire your thrusters because of the physical appearace (the non-Brad Pitt sort of guy or non-Catherine Zeta Jones sort of gal). But if you take the time to talk to that person, you may find that he/she is in fact pretty damned hot after all. Many are the times I've met a lady who didn't seem all that attractive at first. But after I got to know them, I often ended up having some great sex with them, and even went back for seconds, thirds and fourths in some cases. I may not get the hot babes with the bodies by Fisher, but I certainly have no complaints, and in many cases believe that I've cum..er, come out ahead in the good times department without them.
I mention all this to emphasize how subjective the concept of "chemistry"
is. As far as I'm concerned, my Bunny is the best looking woman on this planet, not to mention the best lover, and not to put too fine a point on it, the rest of you are also-rans. And Bunny says any woman who won't play with me is an idiot, because they are missing out on some great sex with yours truly; a sentiment with which I wholeheartedly agree...
However, I don't get overly upset because of all those dumb ladies out there, because, again, I know how subjective these things are, and to fight it is rather like trying to hold back the tide with a fork...
Even though Bunny and I already have "the best that's ever been" with each other, we still enjoy swinging. Not only is the recreational sex aspect fun, but what we really enjoy is the social aspect; spending time with like-minded couples, with whom we share common interests, and this does not mean just sex by any means.
If you are serious about swinging, since you have not actually started yet, I would suggest you and hubby go out to some off-premise clubs, and/or meet a few couples just for dinner or drinks. Take a good look around you at the other people. Talk to them. Get a feel for how other couples view swinging and how they approach it (reading about it here is one thing, actual talking to people is something else, and in some ways far more informative).
And above all, come down off your high horse and RELAX. No one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do (and I would hope this includes your hubby), certainly not with anyone you don't have "chemistry" for. However, after a reasonable period of time, if you can't get past the "I find my husband one of the most exciting and handsome men I have ever met, so I am a bit spoiled that I have one of the best" mindset, and so can't see yourself getting intimate with anyone else, then I would suggest you find another hobby.
As has been pointed out, not everyone is cut out to be a swinger, and you may be one of those (not that you or anyone else is to blame for this state of affairs; it simply IS, and therefore is not something to get overly upset about).
-- Bear