Thus endth the informal poll. JustAskJulie's reply is what I expected to hear, that any contact, even incendental, between a straight man and a bi man would be assumed to be more than innocent (if that isn't too much of a euphemism). It's an attitude that works against me and all other bi men but one that we're going to have to live with for the time being. Most of the swingers ads and even conversations with singles and couples I've had confirm that there is a strong hetero male ethic that borders on the macho; that straight men confirm their sexuality by having sex with new partners and that they further confirm it by having sex with multiple women (sort of forming a temporary harem). Thanks to JustAskJulie for the positive outlook, though! I have found a few couples with bi-males, who I am greatful for, and some bi men and bi women singles. While there are some straight women who haven't been put off by my being bi, personal experience is that bi women are more accepting, probably because they know what it's like to straddle that fence.
Thanks to Ash-n-Fiona's post, it was nice to see a positive response. I wish I could have been there to ask you how you felt immidiately after the first time you experienced some male/male contact; did you shock yourself for trying it or did it seem okay? :-) In my case, I avoided it for a long time, thinking if I didn't seek out any gay contact I wouldn't want to try it. When I finally did have my first gay sexual experience I was nervous as hell but I think that was primarily due to all the negative pressure I'd put on myself for years prior to it.
Alura's comment made me think. First of all, it's nice to see that they are okay with male/male contact (which means that all three replies plus one private message I received were okay with it--suprised me since I thought there may be at least one negative message). I will admit that singles males have a rep for being so horny they will lie to get laid, one that is, unfortunately, deserved, so I can't blame Alura for their no single men policy. STDs are very real and it makes sense to take precautions. I do have a question about part of their post, though:
quote:
We won't trust our lives to condoms. We are happy to use them if our playmates request it , to prevent pregnancy, for instance, but if there is an indication that condoms are needed to protect against disease we simply won't play.
While it is true that the incidence of AIDS in the West (Europe and America) is a lot higher for gay/bi men than is it is for the general population, this is only because it was gay men who were touched by it in the West first. Just look at the pattern of spread in the rest of the world, espeically Asia and Africa; the majority of people with HIV are straight. Yes, I understand Alura's fear of gay/bi men, why take a higher risk? But by not using condoms with straight couples there is still a risk. Yes, I agree that condoms aren't great, that they can interrupt the lovemaking, that they desensitize the penis, that they are themselves, just by using them, a reminder of the STDs you are trying to avoid. If STDs didn't exist nearly 100% gay men would never use them with other men, including me. But they do, and all people, gay, straight and bi should resign themselves to staying wrapped until a foolproof cure is found.
Damn, this was a hell of a lot longer than I expected. :-) Thanks for use of the soapbox.
NittanyLion