Have you ever sat in a restaurant or at the mall or at a ball park and just looked around...wondering to yourself..."hmmm...who would I like to play with? Does this person or that person look interesting to me?"
Unless someone was really exceptional, my general response to myself would be, "Nope. Nope. Nope." Too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too much hair, not enough hair, dressed funny, dressed too nice...the "con" side of my sheet would fill up real fast with nothing on the "pro" side. I used to wonder why and how I could be interested in the lifestyle when I really didn't find many people "interesting" as potential partners.
I finally figured it out. For me, I need to be "interested" in the person. I need to know the person. I need to like the person for all the parts that I think are really important - mind, heart, spirit, values, their ability to be discreet, common interests other than swining.... After that, physical appearance falls to the bottom of my list.
With that being said, I don't think weight is a primary issue among swingers, at least not the swingers that I would be interested in swinging with. I think we frequently focus on what we perceive to be our own "worst" physical characteristic and think everyone is immediately drawn to that specific thing, when in reality, others often don't even see it. We all have our own "worst."
But that takes us back to self-confidence. If you feel and exude self-confidence about yourself, that is exactly what others will notice. If you like yourself more than anyone else could possibly like you, the self-confidence will follow. The question for you will then become,
"Do I want to swing with them" rather than
"do they want to swing with me?" -EBF
