[quote]Originally posted by Mmmm...inNC:
[QB] the idea of one or more partners seems only to be fantasized about in bed. I, on the other hand have always been interested in making it a reality though am having trouble bringing up the topic, as I am worried that a conversation about swinging could have the opposite effect and make her upset. I have been hoping she would bring up the topic. Can anyone relate their story of how swinging became a topic of discussion within the couple and especially if the other partner was playing it cool?
mmm inNC
I fantasized about swapping for 5 yrs or more before I got up the nerve to talk to my wife. We had been married 20+ years also and although the sex had always been great it was becoming routine. It was another 6 months before she agreed to try a swingers club and another 18 months before she agreed to anything beyond soft swinging. It continues to be exciting as we explore new and different sexual partners. I find it very liberating as I can now be completely honest to her about my feelings- I think we guys are many times of the opinion if we reveal what we really want no woman could possibly be interested. I just decided that total honesty was the only way to do it right.I would parallel the experience of when all wives ask "do you find her attractive"? I would say in the past no.Later on I started saying yes. Now I say yes I would like to swing with her but your attractive too and the one I love.
Its not when or where but how you tell her.
Be sure to let her know that sex and love are too seperate issues for you and you can keep the two in perspective. |