As someone who was cheated on in her first marriage.... This is my experience.
The more he cheated, the more he accused me of doing so. Never mind that he was my first and only. Seven years later, I walked out the door and never looked back. One of the smartest moves I ever made in my life. With that said...
I abhor cheating of any sort. I don't care if it is physical, online or by phone, etc. I will not tolerate it. What we do, we do together and with the full knowledge of the other. Neither of us are into the online sexual talk and if flirtation occurs, both must be present. We keep one e-mail address strictly for swingers and we both read and share all mail and will save instant messages for the other to read, if we feel the other might need to look at it. The only people that get that address or IM information are those that we have BOTH grown to know and trust. Some have our personal addresses, but we each have access to those if either wants to go and read them. We hide nothing from each other, but allow ourselves privacy and trust that we will share anything that the other needs to know.
If either of us were to start online flirting, (without the knowledge and approval of the other) I would take that as a signal that our marriage was in deep trouble, the least of which would be the online flirting, as most likely our lack of communication went deeper than just that.
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