Quote:
Originally posted by yawanna
First off: when I asked him about the women he was talking to online and what were they talking about? and this was the result of the women asking ME what was HE talking about.....and his response was - 'hey....are you cheating on me???'
I guess I should have been more clear......
He was cheating on me. No one told me he was until AFTER I found out. And by then he had been kicked to the curb.
' get even' is not tolerating. And in swinging... it's not about toleration, or compromise IMHO. It's about doing something that works for you both, and NOT doing something that works for one at the expense of the other.
In swinging..there is no 'middle ground'. It works for both or it's bad for one. no grey area.
Who the heck suggested THAT?
It's just bad form, and judgment, and misdirected attempts at problem solving relationships to get into swinging when the couple are less than 'solid' with each other and their relationship.
If her man there doesn't want her 'chatting' online with men and she doesn't like him telling her this while HE continues to chat up women online.. to me.. this is a red flag... take a time out. Stop getting into other areas with other people that are causing one or both of you distress in your primary relationship.
Take a break. Swinging is extraneous to the core relationship. And be responsible to others. Don't drag them into something they shouldn't be involved in ie: the couple and their relationship. Isn't that sacred land in swinging? |
OH I agree wholeheartedly. I was suggesting that there is no one-cure solves all. I was saying that just because someone is suspicious that doesnt make the suspicious one guilty of anything. Thats all.
To stop doing things can result in doing nothing. To begin talking can allow for nourishment and growth and maybe doing lots more things after all.
John