Sugar, all marriages can go through times that feel as if you're trying to run through thigh high pudding. (Now there's an interesting visual for you!)
And sometimes you are just butting your heads against each other
but not in that good way, more like those goofy damned rams - who come a'runnin toward one another heads lowered, aiming those horns and BAM DAM BAM each other plumb silly:slam"
Now let's try one of my nonsensical analogies - let's say your marriage is a buckboard wagon, and you are a lovely prancing spirited roan mare, tossing your mane proudly and swishing that sassy tail. And your hubby is a chestnut stallion 17 hands and the strength of ten mustangs coursing through his body, hooves like steel. And let's say your owners, or masters are your children. Your children need you two to be hitched up to the wagon so that the children can go somewhere, actually in order for them to be able to go anywhere. So they see to it that you are both hitched to the wagon. And they go climb up on that buckboard bench, side by side, and click their tongues softly at you both, and say giddup, let's go. And there you all are. Not moving forward. The children begin shuffling their feet against the wagon in irritation. snap, giddup. You toss that mane back, flick that tail at a troublesome fly - and decide, they want to go to town. So you start off to the right. Only the wagon still isn't moving. You stop to think. The stallion gnashes his teeth, allowing his lips to pull back some in a sneer, pawes the ground with those powerful hooves, and knows the children want to go to the spring to get cool clear water, so he veers to the left, manages to budge the wagon only slightly.
Forgive the children, they didn't know or maybe they forgot. But the mare and the stallion know - and stand there thinking. No one remembered to hitch them together, besides just to the wagon, but together. So that they will work as a team, and that marriage can move forward, and those children will progress as well.
Blacksmith time? Counselor, honey. People with emotional investments, and defense systems that have built walls, and divisive issues they are keeping score with - - need the help of those professionally trained to help. If hubby doesn't agree it is needed, then you go for yourself. They are wonderfully trained to assist you in clearing your vision - so you can decide where to go from here.