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| Originally posted by azwildcat it's just plan o'le stupid i think he's ok to chat but finds it hard if i do |
Please understand - what I am about to say is not in defense of his reaction. I know from experience just how much the attitude you describe is hurtful to you, and seems so "unfair" and "double standard". I know.
At the same time, try to recognize his reaction not as antagonistic or intended to diminish you, despite the inbalance of it. It is most of all a glimpse into the insecurity he has about this issue. He is apt to feel fully in control of himself in "flirting" situations, quite sure he knows exactly where the lines should be drawn and confident of his ability to keep things in perspective. His inability to grant you the same freedom does not necessarily reflect a lesser opinion of you to operate in those same capacities. I think it is more likely an insecurity regarding how he is viewed by you versus the fun of harmless flirting which at times may seem more fun than he is being (especially when it seems deragatory to you).
Of course, there is also the chance that it is simply a matter of control for him. I hope not, because that is just plain ole ugly. It would mean only that which he is directly in control of is granted his sanction. Tsk, tsk - I hope the first option over the second.
Although both bring difficulty, the first is one your caring for him can help change. The second is a whole 'nother ballgame and I'm not sure how you might need to proceed from there. Counseling perhaps? Never hurts, in my opinion. Often helps.
I may be way off base, totally wrong, not even in the right time zone. I do not know either of you, only you can know.
I do hope nothing I've said here has crossed a line and angered or hurt you in any way. I care, and only wish to be helpful.
If the biggest help is for me to just hush - I can deal with that, too. Just say so, k ?
