 Your not alone
I beleive that this is a problem that many couples have encountered.
What has worked out best for me and my girlfriend is form of slient communication between us. Either one of us places the other party in sitution where they feel uncomfortable. If that happens we are able to tell each other without the other couple knowing.
On a recent meeting I felt the same as you. It was understood that the female half the other couple was new to swinging and wasn't sure if she was interested in being with another man. However, she was more than interested in being with another women. The night was great sharing drinking and converastion. That all seemed to change when thing began to heat up. Like yourself I felt as if was in the way. As they were both interested in my girlfriend. Without the other couple know, I expressed my feeling to my girlfriend and she stop everything.
Good Luck to you
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