Personally, I think the Faux Pas was on your wife's part not on his.
I think it's a personal preference regarding wanting to be warned and I think that most women who give blowjobs on even a semi-regular basis know the warning signs without a guy having to say "hey I'm gonna cum".
If she had issues with a guy coming in her mouth then she should have told him up front that he needed to pull out when he was ready to come and given him directions on where she wanted him to cum. Last I checked the purpose of giving a blowjob was to make a guy cum so to get upset and say he should have worn a condom if he was going to come is a bit of an oxymoron.
I wouldn't be surprised if your wife just scared this couple right out of the lifestyle.
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