I have some friends that sound just like your friends. THe first time we were with them we were all so new to swinging that I don't think any of us realized what the deal was (including them). It was several years later before we met with them again and by then theyhad realized that he was totally into watching her and not really into playing himself. Now that they know that, they can let others know that and it makes life much simpler.
I would say sit down and talk to them about it. If they've been swinging for a while then I'm sure they realize where their interests lie. Just ask him if he is interested in playing or if he'd rather just watch as the 3 of you play.
You could just make it a soft-swing scenario with them where you two girls play together then when you are ready for the guys you go to your own partner and enjoy.
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