[Jennx]

Wow,
Thanks everyone for your input. To answer some of the questions:

Chicup- I guess he is feeling rather protective at this stage of the game. We've known each other for almost two years and have been involved for one year. Not your typical dating relationship I don't think though. We knew immediately that it was overhaul time. We sacraficed everything (or nearly) to be together and are convinced that if the old myth about "soulmates" is true, then for lack of a better term, that is what we are. He says constantly that he has been looking for me for 20 years, had given up hope, settled, and doesn't want to run the risk of losing me due to circumstances we could avoid altogether. HOWEVER, having said all that, we are both extremely sexual by nature, and love the excitement produced by fantasizing and descibing swinging scenarios to one another. He knew from the onset of our relationship that I very much wanted to incorporate the swinging lifestyle into my life and be open and honest with my s/o and appreciate the differences and similarities in whom ever we would meet to swing with or have fun with. He wholeheartedly agreed that we would pursue this in our lives together. He's changed his tune a great deal since those days.

As for the vibrator, got one. Doesn't do much for me.

Lori- Thank you for your wisdom. As for my O's, **sigh** again, I'm not sure what to say. It seems so complex to me at this point. I just finished (two years ago) an 11 year marriage, where sex was nothing to write home about, but he did make up for it toward the end of our marriage by becoming much better at oral sex. I was having out-of-body experience type climaxes, ALTHOUGH, these also began taking longer and longer to achieve as our relationship deteriorated (2 B expected). These were never vaginal, although I did spasm somewhat when he was inside me, after he would stop thrusting. He was very small (length and girth), and I couldn't really feel anything when we were still. (Kind of hate re-living this, uck.) I have only had clitorally stimulated orgasm's up to this point in my life (I think).

Julie- 1. No - 2. Yes - 3. Not sure

As for me and my s/o. He's a freaking porn-star/god when it comes to making love, fucking, talking dirty or being sweet and tender.

But, he has a short tongue (does that make a difference?), can't hold his neck in any awkward position for long, and frankly doesn't do the things I ask him to do with his fingers or his tongue. He will right then, but he's getting a little sensitive anymore, he'll sigh then do it, or get upset that I am critiquing him and stop altogether, that's always nice. It's to the point of tears and frustration at times. I mean, when we are together, we can't keep our hands off each other. We have sex once or twice a day still. (I know what you're thinking..honeymoon phase.) Sometimes 5 or 6 on the weekends if we're both off, but if I want to O, which ...HELLO! who doesn't, I have to masterbate, with him inside me preferably, thrusting very slowly. I pretty much just do that like once or twice a month now. Where I used to want to orgasm every time we had sex, it's just not worth the potential frustration, because I won't be able to get off, or he won't be able to orally please me. I don't know, it just doesn't seem fair with all that I do for him. From his point of view however, I think he feels utterly discouraged that here we found each other, and we have this great sex life, but he can't get me off. How would you feel if you couldn't bring your loved one to orgasm....think about it.

So, it's kind of a touchy subject anymore. I don't want to allow bitterness or resentment to come in. I have done some research, per his suggestion. Medically, maybe I'm getting low on some hormones, who knows (I'm 31 & not on the pill; IUD). Maybe he should take some lessons in cunnilingus (sp?), maybe we need permanent female partner in our relationship. I don't know. Neither does he. We talk and talk about it. So now I am talking here, and at this point, feel like crying. gulp. Thanks. -Jenn