Quote:
Originally posted by BradAndJanet
Rabbyt, first let me say welcome to the board! |
Thank you, you know I really do feel welcome here.
Second, I think you're on the right track, using your head and taking it one step at a time. I think you have the right attitude about this; taking it slow, letting things happen as they may and listening to the fine advice you've received here. Work it into your bedroom talk, find some porn to watch that shows some multiple partner sex and wait for the opportunity to ask her about her fantasies. She may surprise you.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, it's reassuring to hear experienced people tell me that I could be on the right track. And I do plan to take it slowly. As much as some people might not believe it, I want to do this as much for us, as I do for the potential opportunity to have sex with other women. In the past during some of the times when our relationship has been under stress, one of the things that she has always said is that she wants to be much closer to me. Now, it can be very hard to work out exactly what to do to become much closer, but reading the philosophy behind swinging and how it frees up couples and their inhibitions and allows them to communicate on every level totally openly, I think that I understand much better what that much closer means. BTW, our relationship is quite strong now so please don't take my comments to imply that we are having problems.
I'm not concerned if it takes us quite a while to get there as I imagine the journey will have some quite wonderful discoveries and opportunities to explore things together. What I've decided to do to start is I've ordered a copy of "Sweet Life: Erotic fantasies for couples" and will give it to her shortly for her birthday, telling her its for us to read and have fun with together.
I am 100% confident she will love this present as we have recently become more vocal during sex and this will be the next stage of actually talking about what we like and our fantasies rather than just using dirty talk to turn each other on during sex.
I imagine that the book will have a lot of fantasies that have nothing to do with swinging or other partners, but we'll probably be able to have fun with a lot of the fantasies in there.
I like your comment about getting to the point of asking her about her fantasies and "she might surprise you". Some of the things we have done in the past on the spur of the moment make me believe that this could be true. Like having sex on the beach on holidays (there was some other people a few hundred metres away) or her groping me on the spur of the moment while out and not in any opportunity to actually do anything else.
If and when she's ready, show her this site. You can count on us to be just a friendly and supportive of her as we are of you. Best wishes to you. Stick around too, we'd love to get to know you better and hear how things are going!
-B 
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This is probably the nicest thing that I've read in this thread. I'd love to get to the point where she comes on this site as so many things are explained so much better than I could do it. And to then have the people here willing to be supportive if she came here to help her understand that it's not just an excuse to
Fuck around (excuse me for using that profanity but it didn't sound right using any other words for it) but so much more than that. I will be sticking around. In fact the only thing that would make me go away is if I eventually got a catagorical NO, NOT EVER from her as it would seem to be sill y to be hanging round here in that case.
Thanks for your thoughts.