Most of the women I've met in the scene were nudged into it at some point by the men in their lives and then after a while discovered they loved it. At some point you need to have the talk with her. Tell her you'd like to visit one of these parties just to watch and see what it's like, almost like live-action porn. Put her under no pressure to go any further than that. Make it easy for her to take a baby step in your direction and she might come around.
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