Okay, here's what hubby & I have learned in our 13+ years of swinging: there is no "fairness" because we don't think of what is "fair" or "unfair" to either one of us. What we think about is this: is my partner having a good time? Is my partner getting pleasure from what is taking place? My pleasure comes from seeing my partner getting pleasure, whether it comes from me or someone else, and he feels the same way. And this doesn't just apply to sex-it applies to all aspects of life.
("Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
--Oscar Wilde)
Try to stop thinking about what is "fair" and start thinking about your partner.....it's worked for us for 16 years!
But that's just my 2 cents....
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