Quote:
Originally posted by AnonDude
Isn't swinging a lifestyle? A lifestyle much like Monogamy?
I hear a lot of posts about taking no for an answer from your spouse when this comes up but what about the shoe being on the other foot?
I suppose my question is this: why is swinging something a married couple has to discuss and drop if either of them has a problem with it?
In this same couple one of them obviously has a problem with monogamy - why then isn't monogamy dropped as well? Why isn't monogamy subject to the same rules of unanimous acceptance as swinging?
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The difference is, in this society, monogamy is the norm. If you wanted to have multiple partners (in the "normal" world), why bother to get married? Even the standard marriage vows state, "Forsaking all others..."
My feeling is, if you wanted to have a spouse that was into the lifestyle as much as you, then you should have married someone that was in it already rather than making your wife feel gulity for not wanting to join you in the lifestyle. By marrying her, you decided that you would put her needs above your own unless it was something that the 2 of you agreed upon prior ot the marriage.
Intellectually, I understand what you are saying. And in a utopian society, we would be free to do whatever we care to do without worries about what others might think. But that is not the society that we live in.
And from your posts, I can't see how you are really feeling guilty. Try to put yourself into your wife's shoes. She doesn't want it. But it sounds like you are the type of guy to wear her down to do what you want. And do you really want a reluctant participant?
I would rather spend the rest of my life (I'm 29) sexless but in love with my husband, than having the most mind blowing sex known to man without him.
Good luck to you both.
LC