Personally although we are not swinging yet, I have some very serious issues to deal with. He is the more adventerous of the two of us. I was angry, hurt, and very very confused when he suggested swinging. It was kind of like....
I love you so much, I am going to fuck this other woman just to prove it to you.
Yeah right, in divorce court you will.
However...I did get to thinking. I have never seen people having sex. It seems like such a PRIVATE thing, such an intimate thing, and to be doing this with someone that you love, but to be looking at them ON THE NEXT BED, with someone that you barely know? I thought he had gone insane.
Then....I continued to think, that perhaps I wasn't all that he needed in the world. It sounds offensive to say that he wanted and needed new pussy, when he wanted to be WITH ME?
Talk about some angry reactions, but if I understand it correctlyl,
this CAN bring about some very close and personal interpersonal reactions about someone that you love and care about. That is what is important to me.
I am not real crazy about the process of being close to him over another woman's body, but I think that it just might be possible. I don't know how I will react to seeing him being sexual, another woman bringing him pleasure without me freaking out, but I am going to try to make a friend of this woman. I am going to try to make sure that she has as much as I do to lose, and that she is going to entrust her husband, someone she loves, to ME! I am going to be very careful to earn her trust. To know that I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING that is going to damage her relationship with her husband, and to hope that she has the same considerations as I do. Yes...It's difficult to imagine that he wants someone other than me (at least once in a while), and that he still loves and wants to stay with me, but I can't pretend to undersatnd other than the variety that he needs or wants can't be done so in a very safe and protected envrionment, and hopefully, one that I can share in! I am not saying that this is going to be easy, I don't think that it should or could be, regardless of what or how other people manage their relationships, but for ME, the important thing is to provide to the extent that I am able, an interaction with another human being, (unless she is a real pig, or has absoutely no moral standards, then she would most likely NEVER GET INTO MY BED), knowing that he loves me, and we can do this in a way that can lead to our realtionship being enhanced, not underminded because she simply is willing to a sexual interlude, or because he wants to have someone other than me. I hope this helps. It has helped me kind of sort things out, except when he is "in lust" with someone. I am still working on not feeling inadequate, but I trust that because I love him, I will (and so will he) make the right decisons for us.
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