the answer to your question is that monogamy IS the norm in society. That means that its reasonable to expect that when a person forms a relationship with someone that it will be a monogamous one.
Most relationships (including yours, im assuming) start out monagamous. To change that involves both people in the relationship to ACTIVELY participate in an activity (having sex with other people). It involves CHANGING the relationship from what it started out to be. If both parties arent in favor of that change, then it's unfair to say that both ideas (monogamy and swinging) should be given equal weight.
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