I think both people in a marriage or relationship need to agree on swinging or monogamy as a lifestyle.
And yes, it's not fair for one party to have to give up something they enjoy because their partner doesn't like it. But it depends on which is more important to you - the lifestyle or your partner. If the lifestyle, which ever you choose, is more important than your partner, then you need to leave your current partner and find someone who will enjoy the lifestyle you choose. If your partner is more important, then you have to live within the constraints of the mutually chosen lifestyle.
Some of this is due to society constraints on behavior. But all in all, it comes down to what you want. The lifestyle or your current partner.
A question for you. Is your wife totally against swinging? You say she's reticent. Does that mean she might consider it somewhere down the road? If she's openminded, you might want to have her read this board with you. It might help her with questions she has. Or it might make her decide swinging isn't the lifestyle for her. Either way, you both might learn some things about each other and open up lines of communication.
Best of luck with this. I don't know if I helped at all or not. But feel free to come back and talk about this some more. I'm sure others will have more insights and opinions for you.
DragonsLair
He is T. I am A.
