She is doing it for all the WRONG reasons. She should want to do it for herself, because she wants to do it and as a couple because THEY both want to do it, not to make him happy. There is only big trouble abrewin on the horizon with this situation. There's apparently not only talking problems, there are hearing problems as well.
Have you not read any posts here? My suggestion is that BOTH you and him sit down and take the hours over how many ever days it takes to read and reread the posts here...there's a LOT of very knowledgable "been there, done that" people who offer up excellent advice specifically addressing the topic of she is only doing it to please him.
Quin