If you can convince your husband to sit down with you and read the "New Swingers Forum," (and discuss what you read thoroughly) you may have a chance of working this out without counseling, especially if you, too, develop an interest and the two of you learn to communicate.
If not, I would suggest counseling. If he won't go, go alone. Communication is key to marriage, not just swinging. Without it, your marriage may be in serious trouble.
Ultimatums are rarely successful and never acceptable.
Best wishes and good luck!
Mr. Alura
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