Unregistered,
Your post spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E, not anything remotely close to swinging is, or why swingers swing.
If you can get your hubby to do so, I suggest counseling as one other already posted. It seems there is a whole lot more going on here than just the hubby wanting to play with the buddies wife. Ya'll obviously haven't been able to communicate with each other, which is paramount in order to swing.
I wish you the best.
Mrs. O
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