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Single men can freely address any issue here as well as couples. If one person didn't like what he heard, and it was not just an opinion, it was also derogatory remarks, then he has every right to stand up for what he feels to be correct.
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While slightly out of context against what I had earlier written -- that was not the point of my post at all. The point of my post was that the thread was heading into the "if I don't agree with the opinion that you've stated, then I'll just leave, I needn't need understand where you're coming from". Of course everyone should state their opinion when a question begins with "why" or "why not" -- single, married, divorced, widowed, etc... But, we needn't jump to the immediate conclusion that any derogatory opinion stated about a generalization is intended for the the specific individual.
The question was though a general question and not specific -- therefor the answer must be general and not specific as well. When discussing a topic of a general nature, we must then consider issues like "most" "many" and "some" -- and not the "occasional" "few" or "one". It wasn't asked "why don't couples invite John Doe?" but instead, why don't couples invite single men - in general.
That said, some of the reasons why couples don't invite single men were presented here by many posting with well reasoned process. Factual and annecdotal evidence was provided as well. And yet, some readers took offense to the generalizations presented (as did I when bi-sexuality of women was generalized by Bob). Taking a discussion topic of opinion into an argument of personality is not only uneccesary but also counter-productive.
The bottom line then is this: do we wish to understand the "why" here in this thread or do we wish to argue that the generalizations presented don't apply to
all single men? These are not mutually exclusive ideas but they are contradictory.
There remains a stated fact that most clubs and many couples do not invite single men to play -- it's not important at this point in debate whether "single" be distinguished from the recently single or the terminally single -- only that
most clubs and many couples do not invite single men to play. It's not even a discussion of
is it fair? this is a discussion of the base process.
So, maybe we need to redirect the debate to that assumption. The original post asked a "why not" question based on that single assumption. Now I ask, is that assumption true?
Do most clubs and couples invite single men to play?
This is not a discussion of whether I or anyone else likes single men -- if you read my posts, you will find that the MFM and MMF is
exactly our idea of swinging fun. We are one of those couples that requires a single male! That said, we also understand than many couples do not play MFM/MMF but only FMF and MFMF. This does not make them
anti-male.
So again, do we want to understand why
most clubs and many couples do not invite single men to play or do we want to discuss why
some men are not as bad as other single men you meet --- these two discussions are NOT the same!
Of course, we could discuss too whether each of us is a nice/sexy/friendly/smart/wealthy person -- but that's not answering the question either.
Maybe we should just have a threaded chat here with no regard to the thread topic at all.......
Betty Ann