wow! got some discussion while I was sleeping and I missed it.
So, now we've attacked OhioCouple too because there was an opinion posted as to why couples don't invite single men and it seems at least one single guy didn't like what he heard. Is it true here then that the single guys can express freely whatever opinion they want but that couples are not allowed the same privilege without the single guys saying they'll take their toys and go home.
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Hey lets face it we are in an unfavorable light. I guess I am not welcome here. I spent a lot of time talking to Roxy last night, but now I see her point. I cannot take the insults and I am sure that was a factor in the post....you win. I choose not to fight.
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Let's grow up a touch dear friend -- this discussion is about why couples don't invite single men into their bedroom -- it's NOT about whether single men should be posting to this board. It's a response to a simple question and one which no single guy is qualified to answer - except possibly by way of observation -- in as much as no single guy is the intended respondent to "why do couples..."
as for the comment
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I did not mean to say all women, I meant to say most. I am talking about the general rule. You are talking about execptions to the rule. There are exceptions to every rule.
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Again, we're addressing the question "why do couples not invite single men..." and not why do bi-women establish primary relationships with men. That men provide all sperm is not an issue with most couples as they select a partner for swinging. Nor is the social standard that "men bring home the bacon" while women "keep the house" -- none of these issues relate to the original question of "why do couples not invite single men"; they relate more to 1:1 interpersonal relations. Certainly, impregnation is not often a 2:1 consideration.
So, what I see here is this:
The question has been answered via opinion of some women and couples as to why single men are not invited to play. A few single men were offended by those opinions while still agreeing that a couple can invite or not anyone they like.
We've concluded and several agree, that single men are not the primary attraction to swinging couples -- that the elusive single bi-woman is a more sought after partner and that single men fall far down the line in the partner search. I'm not sure that is true of the population in general, but it is true in regard to swinging lifestyle in general.
Further, several couples have clearly stated that they do in fact invite single men and that they find these single men in places other than a swingers forum. Therefor, single men who are not being approached by these couples must be unqualified based on some other criteria than their single status.
We've seen every logical fallacy known -- including massive
appeals to pitty applied by the single men responding in order to support their argument that "couples should invite single men because single men are
nice/deserving/polite/etc..." and yet not too many single men will acknowledge that "couples often don't invite single men" for no reason other than they just don't want to.
It seems to me -- and this is only my opinion -- that the replies made by some single men on this thread do nothing to enhance the desire of couples to invite single men -- they simply reinforce the opinion of some couples that single men aren't worth their time unless they want to add some un-needed drama to their life.
Some seem to take such debate as a personal attack -- ie: I'm a single male, this couple doesn't like single males, therefor they don't like me. The fault here is that this isn't algebra - it doesn't hold here that A+B=C therefor B+A=D where D is a sub group of C.
Not only have we challenged several people posting with less than
nice rhetoric -- many in this thread have stepped beyond
being nice. That in itself speaks to the issue as one of passioned debate. One which some of these men take very much to heart -- and yet they will each agree that a couple is free to select or not select any partner they wish.
Now, the argument
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Sperm comes from a man that is the only place it comes from. No matter where you get sperm it came from a man.
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while this is a fact, it is not a fact in the application we have here -- we can not deduct in the 21st century that "since sperm comes from a man, the only way I can have children is to have sex with a man" That issue is proven beyond any debate -- it is possible (and not uncommon) to have children without having sex with the sperm donor. So, that point does not explain the need for men in a relationship at all and may explain why some women do not need a man at all.
Maybe we should address the question in another thread of why couples
should consider inviting single men to play. This thread though is about why they don't. The bottom line reason why they don't is that "couples are free to invite anyone they want -- so some elect to not invite single men"
If you want to explore it slightly further:
It seems that a statistical majority of swinging couples are looking for bi-women and NOT men. Therefor they do not invite men (single or married) unless that man also brings a bi-woman to the relationship. Makes sense.
Further, some couples are seeking a direct hetersexual partner swap -- 1:1 + 1:1 -- a single man only brings half of that needed outcome and therefor would create an
odd man out scenario. Therefor they do not invite single men. Makes sense.
Some couples - a fairly small statistical percentage -- are looking for a man to add to the relation in form of MFM or MMF. These couple are interested in a single guy but not in a married cheater. Some of these couples are looking for a bisexual male, which dwindles the selection pool even more.
Some couples will
f**k anything that moves and therefor leave an opening for single and married guys as well as women...
So, the fact is that some couples DO invite single guys to play and some do not. Finding a place within a couple relationship when you're a single guy requires that you appeal to those couples that DO invite single guys. Replying to a swingers ad that clearly says "we're looking for a bi-female or couple with bi-female. No single males please" when you are a single guy does nothing more than imply you can't understand written English. You don't follow instructions well and therefor you won't respect boundaries either. Their ad isn't saying "we hate single guys", it's saying "she wants a woman"
This isn't that hard to understand is it????