Quote:
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As a single male you are not going to get anywhere in swinging by standing up for yourself or telling people you are not as bad as they think.
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Socio-Anthropologically speaking, (IMHO) you are incorrect in that statement. What would be true is if you said:
"As a single male you are not going to get anywhere in swinging by standing up for
all single men or telling people
they are not as bad as they think."
What does in fact woirk is if you take a personal approach to the issue -- one that takes the reverse stance that you claim in your statement quoted above. Tell me why you're a great guy. Show me why I should invite you into my life.
We must understand that statistically speaking, more couples are looking for women than men -- the thing is, often in order to get that other woman involved, we must accept her hubby/bf too. Then there are the couples that swing MF/MF in the many variations. All of those previous styles leave single guys out by default -- just like we don't let motorcyle riders join in the bicycle race unless they bring a bicycle to ride. It's a statistically insignificant percentage that swings strictly MFM and those are often biM+F+biM
It is fair and reasonable for you to claim that "Bob123 is a nice/friendly/handsome/hung/whatever guy" but it is not reasonable for you to argue that "most single guys fit in fine with couples" because the reality is that
most do not but
some do. Further, many couples simply are not looking for a guy at all. You're argument then falls on deaf ears -- there is receiver apprehension for no reason other than the listener knows that part of your message (the part that implies men in general as opposed to "some men") is flawed.
To argue that couples should allow single men in their bed when the couple is really interested in FMF or MFMF and not MFM is akin to going to a lesbian club and insisting that the women there are unfairly discriminating against men -- and then wondering why you can't get laid in the Lesbian bar.
This following sentiment is not directed toward anyone in particular (unless the shoe fits); I'm going to find out shortly whether this thread is
flame bait or an honest discussion seeking real answers. I am a woman, I am a swinger, I am educated and articulate, and I know none of you here. I have offered to share my opinions and observations. You may now each elect to learn from (or listen but select to ignore) what I am offering or you can continue to argue that "all men are great for swingers, couples shouldn't discriminate against single men" when we all know that couples are free to chose anyone or nobody at whim.
We also know that it is a fact that couples do not invite as many single men into the lifestyle. That fact should not be subject of this debate -- subject of this debate is "why".
Either way, I can follow this thread as flame bait/chain yanking or I can offer my insight. I like a good debate as much as anyone -- even a flame war! Others may offer insight too. The ball is in y'alls court...
